Before we delve into Wednesday's return of "Top Chef: Las Vegas," allow us a few moments to rip the show for being so grotesque in its attempts to move product. It's bad enough we get 48 close-ups of the GE Monogram appliances during the challenges and then watch the chefs await their Elimination Challenge fate in Gladware purgatory, but last night's episode took the shilling to new heights.

For the Quickfire, Padma and guest judge Nigella Lawson (Nigella = French for stone-cold hotness) were served breakfast in bed by the Final Six and there were a couple of superb dishes. Kevin did his hearty take on steak and eggs and Eli manufactured a breakfast rueben with thousand island Hollandaise. Loved it. Eli deservedly took the win and was awarded a spot in the Top Chef Quickfire Challenge Cookbook (say that five times fast, if you dare). That's all well and fine (after all, "Top Chef" has put out cookbooks before) but during the next commercial break Bravo not only pimps the book, but also tells us that we can recreate our favorite recipes while using a "Top Chef" whisk and "Top Chef" hotpad holder, while wearing "Top Chef" boxers, a "Top Chef" logo T-shirt and an authentic "Top Chef" culinary jacket. Seriously? I love the show but if we ever bake a tator tot hotdish while wearing a "Top Chef" coat you can jam two "Top Chef" paring knives into my "Top Chef" watching eyeballs.

Anyway, Jen got panned for her take on Shit On a Shingle (S.O.S.). We ate S.O.S. all the time growing up on the pig farm so Jen gets mad props from us. Plus, after three straight episodes of being on the Bottom, we were glad to see Jen having fun again. She even let out a little giggle when she told Padma and Nigella what they were reluctantly about to eat. That said, she did make S.O.S. for a Top Chef challenge so there's a good chance our darling Jenny is crazier than that middle judge "So You Think You Can Dance."

At the Elimination Challenge, the chefs drew knives for inspiration in the form of famous Strip hotels. It would have been a fairly vanilla (sorry, Bryan) test if not for the fact that each chef was responsible for a dish to feed 175 people. (For the record, If we had to cook for 175 people we'd make pigs in a blanket and cowboy caviar.)

Jen went with steak for her Excalibur dish and Nigella's was tougher than the stone the famous sword was extracted from. Next was our favorite Kevin, who drew The Mirage and made Alaskan sockeye with Napa cabbage and cucumber. Looked pretty nasty but Kevin saved himself when he gave instructions on how to properly enjoy it (chase the fish with the tomato water in the bottom of the bowl... ah-ha!).

Mike V did a hot boneless chicken bite for his New York, New York dish. He threw some blue cheese on top to balance out the heat, and then acted like he was the first person to ever think of it. He's really become quite the unapologetic douche. Seemed kind of dumbed-down for a Voltaggio effort and the judges were just so-so about it. Robin, who in Vegas terminology has been playing with House money for about two months now, made panna cotta based on flowers she saw in the Bellagio lobby. She also attempted to pay homage to glass artist Dale Chilhuly but that part of the dish didn't make it to the table.

Bryan drew Mandalay Bay and made halibut with pine nuts and garlic chips. It was rather galatinous and the color was a little off-putting but the judges wanted to bathe in it. Finally, after his big Quickfire win an increasingly cocky Eli "gambled and lost" with his playfully frothy Circus Circus carmel apple peanut soup with popcorn and raspberry sauce. No, really, that's what he made. What the cameras failed to capture was Eli popping seven or eight mushroom caps prior to entering the kitchen. Dude cracks us up. Even with the misstep there's no way he goes home if for no other reason that he's sporting two globe-sized balls.

After a celebratory toast in the kitchen the chefs retreated to Gladware purgatory until Padma called out Kevin and the Voltaggios as the Top finishers in the challenge. Loved Kevin's reaction to Toby's compliment. He looked like a hairy Pillsbury Dough Boy. We were shocked that Michael's chicken wing thing won. Maybe we're just tired of his attitude in the kitchen, where he again went out of his way to rough up Robin. Yes, Robin is annoying, but she doesn't deserve to be stepped on for no good reason. Michael's a punk and we hope he loses to Kevin or, better yet, his brother.

We figured the Bottom was all about Jen vs. Robin. Would Jen's tough steak be less awful than Robin's poor conception and worse execution? Tom asked the great question of Robin, "Are you influenced by the other chefs in looking around and seeing some of the tricks they use?" She said she was inspired by their knowledge but Robin can't fool us. She's been faking it until she makes it all season long but the longer she's survived the more apparent her lack of skill become. She was finally put out of her misery but the truth is that Jen has been worse over the last month. We suspect Jen is still trading on the reputation she built in the first six episodes but she'll have to step up her game next week if she's going to outlast Eli and advance to the Final Four.

In Fantasy Top Chef, Mike V's Elimination Challenge win brought Joe G (45 points). to within a point of second place Nathan (46). TFP (58) still leads by 12, but objects in the mirror are closer than they appear. We'll talk again next week.

Bookmark

Email this

Trackback(0)

TrackBack URI for this entry

Comments (0)

Subscribe to this comment's feed

Write comment

Name

Email

Website

Title

Comment

smaller | bigger

Subscribe via email (registered users only)

I have read and agree to the Terms of Usage.

Add Comment